tears stream down...
as any control leaves.
pain radiates as defeat is met.
few friends are found in the crowds of enemies, masked.
hugs no longer mean love, but pity.
why must their happiness be met, through my tears?
no longer do i want to be here...
misunderstood are we, the crowd.
as deciept is whispered town to town.
as deciept is whispered... town to town...
misunderstood are we. the crowd.
no longer do i want to be here.
why must their happiness, be met through my tears?
hugs no longer mean love, but pity...
few friends are found. in the crowds of enemies masked...
pain radiates as defeat is met.
as any control leaves,
tears stream down.
5 comments:
Aw :( I liked this. It seems like you have a couple stray words that fell in there somehow that don't make sense, i.e. "no longer do i want to be here, this." the "this" doesn't make much sense to me, sorry.
meant to use this account...sorry for any confusion, haha
yay thank you! haha i had this really good comment back... but my internet died and it was lost =(
and i know what you mean, i think i was trying to make those words stand out. adn if it were not a mirror poem, those stray words would have their own lines, which would add emphasis. so you do suggest that i just delete them?
PS. THANK YOU FOR COMMENTING I LOVEE YOUUU!
really powerful maddie, i can almost feel your pain. i agree with gina on the "this" thing...doesn't really make sense. but other than that great job!
haha i deleted the "this"... it made sense at the time, but you're right, it didnt fit. thankk youu!
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