i dont know...

I want to laugh...

I want to scream!

That feeling inside me...

Like I'm bursting at the seams!

Imploding, and choking...

hoping and wishing...

stopping.

and sitting.

and breathing.

and then...

realization.

the feelings, the stress.

i am alive.

but im proud of this.

you

did you know?

that sometimes i'll think about you,

the way you talk,

that sense of humor,

but also,

how you care about so much.

except...

im not the person that'll wait on your calls...

i get pissed if you forget,

but i'll forget too.

i sometimes just think that we can be the best of friends,

it'll be great, i'll be happy...

but then i remember this.

i remember that feeling in my stomach,

where i know i never want to be anywhere else...

that knowledge that for once...

my head is a gooey mess.

i remember the fact...

that i love you as such a good friend,

but when i see you... every once and a while...

i wish that you knew what i meant.

untitled

its weird...

when i mention this. i freeze.

i want to say don't laugh. i'll cry.

don't mention it, don't worry.

but i know. i want to hear this...

i want to know what people think,

i want verification, some safety net...

but that can't just happen.

i want to hear, "this imagery is perfect!"

or "that flows just right...."

but critique is life.

if i learn. i grow.

so i just have to keep telling people,

that this is me.